We talked a little today. We shared some civil, almost light or humorous words and yet it didn't feel the way it used to. I didn't get the feeling that I used to, rather there was a knot in my stomach. You looked in my eyes as we sat across from each other and I held it as long as I could handle and this time, I was the first to look away. Nothing is the same anymore. The looks aren't the same, the bond is not the same, nothing is the same. I know we've fought to stay strong for awhile but soemetimes I feel that being strong would mean letting go. So maybe one day, we won't pretend anymore. So maybe one day it will be okay again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes, I want it to be okay again.
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